Imperial Database
Main Profiles Directory

Roster and profiles are Under Construction.

Name: Andronicus 1.0

Function:

Emperor of Earth and all her Satellites both Natural and Artificial
Bio: Duly designated and self-appointed Emperor of the Realm.  Would you like to know more?

 

Name: Chris

Function:

Brother to the Emperor
Bio: Former Governor of Christopolis.  Now works in New Christopolis, a suburb of Androcity, as the head of Imperial Agriculture.
 
Name: Dossey-Rah

Function:

+Chief Armorer
+Dossaic Envoy to Earth Realm
Bio: Presented Emperor Andy with the Raptolier, a sword of power which gave the Chosen One dominion over the velociraptors.  See extended bio or read more about the Loyal Order of the Dossai.

 

 


Loyal Personnel, Minions, Citizens, Clones, and affiliated racial classes

OPERATIONS DIVISION

Name: Nazionale

Function:

Operations Chief
Bio: Head of the Operations Division.
Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Custer the Greater

Function:

Operations Subcommander
Bio: Formerly Ballerina Liaison, recently appointed to the NYC HQ of Operations.  Handles the tasks Ops Chief Nazionale cannot stop eating to attend.  Keeps budget on track.
 
Name: Renee

Function:

Asst (to the) Ops Chief
Bio: Some say that the Ops Chief was a little biased when he appointed his sister to be his assistant, but no one says it to her face because she is also a voodoo priestess. And don't accuse her of "playing with dolls" either. Or you'll be sorry.
 
Name: Andronicus 2.0

Function:

Female Emperor Clone

Nicknames:

Andie, Twoey, Girl Andy
Bio: Intended to be a body double for the Emperor as a security measure, but the cloning process was not entirely perfected yet, resulting in a red-headed, female clone.  Wields the Velocidagger.
Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Shaynaborg

Function:

The Decider
Bio: Delegated to Shayna is the essential task of making snap decisions. Andronicus is a busy man and has little time for decision-making. When asked to accept this job, Shaynaborg replied, "I guess so."
 
Name: Jernigan

Function:

Surgeon General
Bio: Chain-smoking Chief Medical Officer of the Empire.  Possesses the ability to literally suck the sunlight out of a person.
Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Scott

Function:

Emperor's Mouthpiece
Bio: Speaks for His Excellency. This puts her in particular high demand as the Emperor has a lot to say about a lot of topics.
 
Name: Doyle

Function:

Imperial Game Warden
Bio: Formerly charged with harem oversight, Doyle came out of retirement to help cull the local animal populations and regulate hunting throughout the solar system and neighboring dimensions of reality.
Doyle's duties as Imperial Game Warden include overseeing the proper licensing of hunters to poach wild game on all planets and moons within the Empire's domain. He keeps the animal populations in check, maintaining manageable levels - not too big as to overburden their habitat, but not so low as to prevent cloning if we're about to run out.
 
Name: Patterson

Function:

Fairy Wrangler
Bio: Wrangles fairies, pixies, and other mystical creatures. Harvests fairy dust for medicinal purposes. Wields a magic lasso.
 
Name: Elsbeth

Function:

Demeritress; Writer Firer
Bio: Issues demerits for disloyalty and inappropriate behavior.  Fires speech writers.  Out of cannons.
 
Name: Phipps

Function:

Imperial Scandal Coordinator
Bio: Ensures Operations are adequately bogged down by one scandal after another, or sometimes many all at once.
 
Name: Morgborg

Function:

Nurse # 7
Decree Keeper
Bio: In addition to wiping the rare drop of perspiration from the Emperor's brow, Morgborg is also charged with retaining in her cybernetically-augmented brain a list of all the decrees made by Andronicus while he is, shall we say, "under the influence."
 
Name: Germ

Function:

You name it, he does it.

Nicknames:

Pestilence
Bio: Accidentally downloaded job programming for every known job in the Empire and has been doing most of them ever since.
 
Name: Diraj

Function:

Terraforming Supervisor
Bio: The Diraj has been instrumental in the conversion of Mercury, Venus, and various dwarf planets into happy, habitable little balls of life within the dominion of the Empire. But there are some that do not agree with Diraj’s take-no-prisoners terraforming methods, which entail replacing whatever life already exists in favor of the new matrix.
 
Name: "Rev" Tam

Function:

Clone Overseer
Bio: You know how when you make a photocopy of a copy of a copy of a copy and it starts to lose some image integrity?  Tam makes sure DNA doesn't get overextended.  Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Buzz

Function:

Royal Seamstress
Bio: Stitching up the holes in the Empire's stories or patching up the holes in the knees of the prostrated minions, there's always plenty of work for a seamstress in the Empire. 
Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Carter

Function:

Revisionist Historian
Bio: Retroactive position.
 
Name: Bitler

Function:

Official Pie Taster of the Realm

Nicknames:

Bittles
Bio: The Emperor will not rest until he discovered that pie which is most best.
 
Name: Palmer

Function:

Deck Swab
Bio: Her title is purely ceremonial.  We have it on good authority she has not swabbed a deck in years.  Recently wed an Earthman.  Serves in the Imperium as one of the leading lawmakers of the day.  Formerly known as Agent Smith.
 
Name: Stegall

Function:

Imperial Plumber
Bio: "I'm just here in case something goes wrong with her pipes."
 
Name: Moore

Function:

Stealth Transporter
Bio: The Stealth Transporter does not own a car, so we're not sure how she transports anything.  Maybe it's her cape.  If she is transporting, it's very stealthily, because no one has seen her do it.
 
Name: Jack

Function:

Chancellor of Uranus
Bio: Appointed as ruler of Uranus after the Empire's successful "liberation" of the planet.  Works tirelessly to overcome the stigma of the planet's name.  Introduced a new program to encourage tourism.
 
Name: Hilary

Function:

Personal Secretary to the Emperor
Bio: Beauty and brains serve Hilary well in this key position in the Office of the Emperor.
 
Name: Annette

Function:

Secretary to the Secretary's Secretary
Bio: Thinking that she would rise to power when the Secretary's Secretary was dismissed, Annette was displeased to learn that budget cuts prevented her promotion.  Now she does her old job, plus her old boss' job, for the same pay.
 
Name: Maule

Function:

Minister of Culture
Bio: It can be debated whether an Empire so young can possess a true Culture.  If you mean culture as a petri dish of bacteria, then yes we have a culture and it is growing so fast the petri dish will soon not hold it.
 
Name: Buck

Function:

Multi-Tasker
Bio: When it comes to the delicate balancing act of managing multiple assignments simultaneously, none is better than "Rhymes With," as the Emperor calls her.  Buck is the Mistress of Multi-Task.  If you need it done, and done right, and at the same time as a lot of other jobs, Buck is your woman.
 
Name: Beccabee

Function:

Postmaster General
Bio: Through rain, sleet, wind, or snow, she ensures your mail will be consistently late or lost.
 
Name: Arensmeyer-Hodge

Function:

+ Chief Compliance Officer
+ Court Composer
Bio: Ensures the Emperor's decrees are carried out to the letter.  When not forcibly complying minions, Hodge composes amazing new anthems for the mighty Empire!
 
Name: Burns

Function:

Diet Tribal Chief and Personal Nutritionist to the Emperor
Bio: Oversees the Imperial Dietary Council (a.k.a. the Diet Tribe); runs the free school lunches program; proscribes a healthy, varied menu for the Emperor which is promptly ignored

 

 


SECURITY-MILITARY DIVISION

Name: LeTrent

Function:

Security Chief
Bio: Head of the Security-Military Division, overseeing internal security and the military complex.
Would you like to know more?
 
Name: General Kolberg

Function:

Commander of the Imperial Legions
Bio: Leading the robotic hordes into battle, and kicking their cans when they do not perform to her specifications. 
Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Cathey

Function:

former Reptilian Forces Supervisor
Bio: Can you tell the difference between a Ichthyosaur and a Plesiosaur?  This guy does.  It's his job to know. 
Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Turmel

Function:

Fleet Admiral
Bio: Commander of the Imperial Armada.  Spaceships.  Patrols, defends, enforces, transports troops.  Deterrent shows of force. 
Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Spitler

Function:

Political Officer
Bio: Ensures loyalty.  Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Price

Function:

Reptilian Forces Supervisor
Bio: After she developed an unnatural bond with the raptors, it was no surprise that Wrangler Price quickly rose through the ranks to supervise a classified, robotic dinosaur project and later served as Assistant to the RFS, Assistant RFS, Acting RFS, and Interim RFS.  Now, she finally takes her rightful places as RFS. 
Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Rockel 2.0

Function:

Master Assassin
Bio: Cybernetic assassin.  A clone of the original assassin of the same name, Rockel 2.0 is twice the killer his predecessor ever was.  If that doesn't scare you, you didn't know his predecessor. 
Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Grantham

Function:

Chief of Assassins
Bio: Former assassin, turned desk jockey.  Manages the ever-burgeoning list of targets and hits.  Zero tolerance for failure. 
Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Lorma Doom

Function:

Brute Squad Wench
Bio: Softens up the enemy with her Ax of Justice.
Would you like to know more?
 
Name: Cullen

Function:

Chump Puncher, Defender of the Empire
Bio: Do you know someone who could use a good face-punch?  Now you know someone who can deliver that face-punch.  It is her full-time job.
 
Name: Adams

Function:

Head Ninja
Bio: Ninja Adams is so stealthy, she usually gets left off rosters like these.
 
Name: The Fussell

Function:

The Emperor's Left Hand
Bio: He wears a green army helmet when he drinks.  Therefore, he wears a green army helmet most of the time.  Known as The Emperor’s Left Hand, Fussell will switch your meds to undermine your health.  He is without conscience.
 
Name: Choppers

Function:

Biter of Tires
Bio: In the archaic times before cybernetic teeth implants, we used to slash tires with knives. Now, Choppers chomps them with her dual-layered, chainsaw-like teeth. And we can't print details of her low-cut, toothy party dresses.
 
Name: Ashlatron

Function:

Cybernetic Gunslinger
Bio: Transhumanism, cybernetics, bionics, and augmentation. These words were once happy idioms of a glorious future.  Now, they strike fear in the hearts of the disloyal as they are pursued by soldiers who move too fast, think too quickly, and destroy too efficiently.
 
Name: Custer the Lesser

Function:

Commissioner for Civil Protection (Chief of Police)
Bio: Served as Official Bum for several years, before using his wiles on Price to gain favor in the Empire.  Recently appointed to head Earth's policing unit, Civil Protection, despite having no experience in law enforcement.
 
Name: Santucci

Function:

C-in-C of Covert Ops and Cryptography Santucci
Bio: Writes code languages so unbreakable that even she cannot decrypt them.
 
Name: Thaddaeus

Function:

Rocketeer Captain
Bio: One of the most reliable and trusted officers in the Air Command.  Leads a special tactics battalion of human soldiers who fly into battle with the aid of jetpacks.
 
Name: Stuttsburger

Function:

Imperial Marshal
Bio: Planet-hopping law enforcement agent.  Hunts down criminals on the wild frontier planets and moons. 
 
Name: Helen the Felon

Function:

Mafia Don
Bio: On the payroll of the Empire; maintains a smooth black market and keeps the nieghborhood clear of riffraff.
 
Name:  

Function:

 
Bio: Want to see your profile here?  Don't waste our time writing on the screen.  Instead, submit your bio to the Recruitment Office.  We're not elitist; we're just elite.

 

 

Retired Personnel

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