Lorma Doom, Head of the Brute Squad
Name: Lorma Doom
Function: Brute Squad Wench.
Motto: “The gloves are off. 'Cause you can't wield an ax of justice wearing boxing gloves.”
Catchphrase: “No one can escape the Rhythm Wench.”
Slogan: “When some disloyal wretch is beyond the reach of the Law, the Brute Squad steps in to offer its own special brand of Intimidation.”
Optional names: Lorma Doone. Lorm. Marev. Biscuit. Mrs. Firth. Soul Sista. Negro.
Sex: Come again?
Lone Armament: The Ax of Justice and Rhythm and All Things Lethal.
Bio: Originally discovered living in an orphanage among law-breaking, ragamuffin youth, Lorma Doom always struggled with anger management. Although her parentage cannot be precisely traced, she is allegedly the love child of Whoopi Goldberg and an unknown high ranking official of the Southern Baptist Christian Brigade. The only other known relative is twin sister Sun-Sucking Surgeon General Jernigan, a loyal and active member of the Emperor’s ranks.
Quite fascinated by weaponry at a young age, Lorma Doom experimented with all forms of firearms, etc., and became increasingly bored, and eventually, disappointed by weapons that could not live up to the sheer effect of her presence. She would eventually discover The Ax of Justice and Rhythm and All Things Lethal at the Brute Training Center on planet Xena near Mount Maysonave.
Lorma Doom served in the Imperial Legions during the Second Great Rise of the Empire (also called the Return) and was appointed to the lead the Brute Squad as a reward for her military record, deeds, and loyalty. However, some speculate this assignment was in part a way to keep her busy. With such destructive power at her command, Lorma Doom cannot long remain unoccupied without striking out.
Because of this unpardonable character flaw, the Emperor advised her to take up a hobby – something through which she could filter her rage when not defending the Empire, taking people out, etc., and she found that outlet in the ancient sport of bowling. This newfound outlet has greatly reduced the amount of missing persons and random delinquency in the Empire.
Controversy: Rumor has it that the Lormster was appointed to her current position merely because of her double-minority status. Obviously, minorities all over the Empire are up in arms about this outrageous claim, and Reverend Al Sharpton is planning his protest march on planet Xena shortly. Hullabaloo to ensue.
Strength – Immeasurable
Intelligence – Extensive
Speed – Average
Loyalty – Unknown
Courage – Palpable
Firepower – Unnecessary
Skill – Colossal
Known Powers: Rhythm, Ax-wielding, Interpretive Dance, Brainwashing, Bowling machismo, Roller skating (old fashioned and inline).
Weaknesses: Good Theatre, Pillows, New mattresses, Blankets (especially those with the likeness of animated Disney characters), Colin Firth films, Cute white boys.
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