Ask the Empress

Advice Column

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Submit you burning queries and major life decisions to the Empress Noelle ( noellebarnard@gmail.com ) and she will respond right here and perhaps even answer your question.


Ask Noelle,
I recently took some time off from my new job as fleet admiral for (name of company removed for privacy) to hike the Appalachian Trail. I hate to admit it, but I have since become rather lost and find myself unable to get home. I managed to find this mail receptacle, and thus I write to you now for advice. What should I do?
Sincerely,
A Secret Admiraler

Dear Admiraler,
Going outside was your first mistake. You should have stayed inside and read Harry Potter instead.
Noelle


Dear Noelle,
I love that skirt you are wearing! Where did you get it?
A Fan

Dear Fan,
Gap.
Noelle


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