Ask the Empress

Advice Column

Page Under Construction

Submit you burning queries and major life decisions to the Empress Noelle ( ) and she will respond right here and perhaps even answer your question.

Ask Noelle,
I recently took some time off from my new job as fleet admiral for (name of company removed for privacy) to hike the Appalachian Trail. I hate to admit it, but I have since become rather lost and find myself unable to get home. I managed to find this mail receptacle, and thus I write to you now for advice. What should I do?
A Secret Admiraler

Dear Admiraler,
Going outside was your first mistake. You should have stayed inside and read Harry Potter instead.

Dear Noelle,
I love that skirt you are wearing! Where did you get it?
A Fan

Dear Fan,

Return to Main Menu